The Innisfree Poetry Journal
www.innisfreepoetry.org
by Robert Farnsworth
MUTE SWANS for D.S.
At first I meant to join you opening shutters, but instead slipped inside to watch the musty light slant in as you creaked them up to their hooks. Your face peered in then from a future I’d only have dreamed, had I fallen asleep inside the lodge thirty years ago. A part of me had. I would know this all day by the smell: sooty field-stones, birch and cedar logs a century old, and the sweet pewter pond, whose blues and greens we were there to savor, whose night mists we were there to breathe. Later, two swans and their cygnet shadowed our canoe across an evening so still that lilies swiping the hull sounded loud as white water. In woods where once the Narragansetts wintered, shadows steeped.
Amazing after thirty years to hear just mumbles of traffic from the big bay bridges, after ninety years still to enjoy what novel-- thumbing, cribbaging forbears meant by holiday. Everywhere else, vicious wars, gadgets assembled in the sky, suburban encrustations long since snuffed the placid lives they led, erased them even from memories avid for the encouragement of ghosts. But five cartons of clear water always left by the iron pump are meant to sustain the icy braid where they plunged their vanished hands. So as the pair swanned out of the dusk, and swiveled a level stare at us, shouldn’t we have asked what would become of our regrets, so carefully collected but never displayed, of the starving languages of custom, of our own children when the swans no longer return to the rushes, now too well succeeding in the pond’s east end? We might have asked just how we’d been sounding from within the deserted woods across the pond. We might have asked. But chased cards & drinks & laughter instead until kerosene light made phantoms of us all. Our children slept as once we slept. But when, next day, hanging paddles in the boathouse, I had my back to the bright morning doorway, there was that sforzando hiss--harsh behind me, seizing my shoulder-blades with dread, as when at seven, swimming through golden weeds with my lump of breath, I surfaced to see them swing toward me, their wing feathers hackled, and when I turned, lurching from terror to hilarity, there you were, smirking at the door. Your nudging gift to me, too gloomily contemplative by half. By habit. Let’s keep it, then, in the dark lodge we’d later shut and latch the shutters on again, and here, something droll and certain, to recollect between us, to prompt returns to that lost world, and dare belief in it again.
VERGE
Next morning my son comes customarily down with his blanket, asks for some of this hot coffee, touches this shoulder of mine with his scratched hand. Strict sunlight slants into the bag of maps and tools I bent to gather in the snowy clearing, even as the canted tire went on digging a trough of icy mud, and the yellow flasher, popped from its socket, blinked. Snow, pine sprigs, idling breeze, pale green piles of crushed window. Not until I rise from my chair, touch his nape with my scratched finger, pour his cup, and arrive before the clock, am I here. Saturday. Gently to wind the old toothed wheel back beneath its verge. Not until I step with the dog into sharp January air do I discover three emerald chips fallen into my glove’s warm finger, and find myself regretting how it fades: that wild, barreling hurtle my shoulders have, in honor, in spite, been keeping like the very secret all night.
FOR AN IMAGINARY HEIRESS
In the crystal-handled safety razor function follows form, at a discreet aesthetic distance. Swallowed like a sherpa in a blizzard of foam, it will climb your calf's exquisite curve, then rinsed, outshine the water. Believe what you can acquire. Although you might outlive these pleasures in hard luck, or stuck on so-called treasures of the spirit, let others writhe on homely sheets; you were born for the silken camisole.
Avail yourself of summer as you will. Let the dusky pier boys fawn over you, your perfect flanks gone gold with sun, your little espadrilles. Then vanish into the courtyard, and beneath the bougainvilleas' inhabited petals, savor some of what they gave you for your nose. Father's out back polishing brass appointments on his yacht. Shake out your yellow hair--rest within its cool shelter a while. Perhaps I have over-
drawn you. Perhaps not yet. I have been looking on in lives like yours, with my invisible, self-satisfied derision--the diary of hair you brush out so each night, thrill to think of cutting. Why I bear you such particular malice isn't clear--maybe you seem a primal appetite, hungering Pandora, fingering the latch. On Saturday I drift the opulent mall, with its live palms and carp pools. Young people mutter and laugh among the clothing stores.
And I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, they say--like birds the crooked hangers squeak along the racks. I'm like, I'm like--whatever I am wearing, whatever in this bag has purchased me. Think of the security camera's ghostly penetration of the bags boarding planes. It cannot see the razor's crystal handle; it knows us by our tools, as if we’d been dead a thousand years. Next week you are on your way into a season whose
catalogues are now just being shot and given copy--coy, bold-color sentences, suggesting a life like yours is not just possible, but at hand. You're on your way, and won't it all just hone you-- the Alpine air, the bergamot soap, the perfect reserva, little storms of gypsy fiddling in cafes. I know there is nothing so sentimental as a class contempt, that envious, arrogant hatred, seed of slaughter seeking sunlight. You believe what you
can acquire. But perhaps your life is not unexamined (or no more so than my own), not without its violent, self-denying solitudes, and its fearful moments. This afternoon, in your mother's gallery, you’ll find a large wasp, washing its head, obscenely flexing its dangerous abdomen, scissoring its wings, each portion of its tenuously-connected body menacing you. It will stand there in a cage of sunlight, on the stack of exhibit programs. You will go in empty-handed.
CHARTER BUS
The highway median (young pines standing in patchy snow, birches limbering) goes on vanishing into the convex rear-view mirror. Twice his foot goes cold and tingles, twice he nearly nods off to the restrained, intelligent joy of her voice, poised a few rows behind him, on laughter's verge or a sigh. He knows her to be a remarkable woman--they talked last year on this same route, all the way back in the dark. Seatbacks muffle most of her words, but isn't he happy just cherishing the mirror, the paradox of its bulging center where the lane stripes disappear. It's a moment, meant or meaning unto itself, and he couldn't tell her or anyone what the mirror's appetite means . . . all gone into the light. That's all. Just two hundred yards of the past hang on beside the bus--her voice contains six hard, generous decades. A whole spring landscape pours into the mirror. They are all riding north to sing a Requiem . . . . Concealed in his revisable observations, promises he makes to himself, he's startled when shame, or is it fear, spreads over his scalp. Her words linger far away within the engine's drone, as in a farther room, where curtains blow and tender voices rise and fall together.
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