The Innisfree Poetry Journal www.innisfreepoetry.org by Barbara J. Orton
The Bad Sister
My thighs are chafed. I smell of blood and wool. Bitter, clumsy, menstrual, I welter in the confines of this hall.
My lover died and left me this: a rack of pills, my mother’s hips, the radiator’s intermittent hiss.
Now I am the bad sister, the one reversing charges on the phone,
saying, “This will be your death, too: this open wound, this mouth unstitched for prophesy and stopped with earth.
“And ghosts will come to steal your love: the dancing boy I never was, the tall woman you despair of.”
Malison
No oranges will bloom no rain will wet the dust that spirals on these hills No fruit will ripen no peel to split beneath men’s fingernails
No birds will cry no olive trees will bear their crown of bitter fruit No black-haired girl will dip into the pail to oil her cracked feet
No cows will bring their calves to term in the dry field Damp necks will shrivel there and milky eyes be blind
Until my daughter comes to me Until my daughter comes to me
Coda
Someday you’ll meet someone who treats you kindly. In one graceless, necessary move, you’ll shake me off like a heavy blanket and walk into your life, eyes open. You won’t pretend what you’re giving up is happiness. I won’t pretend it’s free.
Even as I grow bitter and cold with wanting what I never loved, I’ll remember this with something like pleasure— the lift of your heels, abrupt as sparrow-flight, and how your back straightened as you walked away.
Someday you’ll forget everything you wanted, forget your hunger and your dead brother’s voice. Your little gods will tiptoe off and leave you. I’ll be the last thing you remember when you close your eyes to sleep.
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